A Letter to My Bully
Carmen’s (My Bully) Unsolicited Text to me:
The first thing I’d like to say to you…is nothing. There is nothing in this whole wide world I could say to someone who is grieving so much. There are no words that could come from anyone who can bring someone like this comfort, joy….or even defense. It is VERY clear that you are feeling threatened, unsafe, or just plain miserable with your self and your life to be able to send out an unsolicited text, or attack such as this. I know I did nothing to you, and you have no concern with me, my business, or my relationship with my “dad”. If you felt confident with yourself, or happy with YOUR life, you wouldn’t feel the need to project it onto someone you know nothing about.
Even if you did know my struggles, or why my “dad” is helping me, I do not expect you to have compassion for me, because it is clear you do not have any for yourself. I don’t owe you an explanation nor would I try to defend myself to someone blinded by their own story. I do not know what you have been through, but I am aware that it must of been really bad for you to treat people the way that you do. I do not feel sorry for you, because I, myself have been through an extremely traumatic life and I do not take it out on others. I know you are completely capable of moving through this with responsibility and grace….it is simply your choice not to. I do however still have love for you…real love. Not passive aggressive – ” …sending you love like always..” (mimicking me). Real unconditional love…which I realize is a threat to your “identity” and story of being unlovable, or unworthy of love. I know you because I know myself and because I know myself I am not offended by your words. I have the capacity to have love for you only because I have loved the parts of myself that are not so lovable…
I am at peace with myself, and I wish the same for you.
A note to those who are being bullied or abused by someone you know, or even by a loved one:
Don’t ever forget that we are all each others mirror, and anyone who has judgments against you has just not come to accept that that as an aspect of themselves. If you practice self love, you may notice that you will no longer be offended by other peoples opinions of you, nor will you even feel the need to explain, justify or defend yourself. If you are upset, offended or disgruntled by the opinions (not facts) of others, take a look at where you are not loving yourself and accepting yourself just the way that you are. Take a look and see if the hurtful things said to you are things you really believe about yourself, because in the end, it only matters what you think about yourself.